Well, I survived the first half of the holidays and came out with a minimum of scars and trauma. Xmas Eve was uneventful barring the traditional mother-son arguments, and the persistent questions about my love life and if I would be interested in meeting a nice Armenian girl. My ass is next on the chopping block, but I don't think they realize they are barking up the wrong tree. I am sure that statement will be taken completely out of context and imbued with some meaning I did not intend since some peopole seem to divine out of this blog some rather assinine and wholly incorrect things about me and what I do. But I say bless the poor sods for not having anything better to do in their lives than to create some soap opera out of mine. I do have to say that not seeing my relatives for a whole year all the time certainly presents me with some surprising changes as I witness people grow older as they head towards adulthood or the grave. It's both somber and promising, yet I can't help feel somewhat removed and unsure in whatever family lineage exists and remains.
Had brunch this morning with some close friends. In fact, they are the four most important people in my life and it was nice having them all there and being able to do something for them. They do mean a lot to me and seem to each fulfill some role in my life that I lack, whether positive or negative.
Aside from all this, I am licking the wounds from a very harsh lesson and wake up call and hoping I can finally just let things go and allow myself to be surrounded by more positive things. I didn't deserve it. I never have, I never did, and I never will deserve that.
This entry was posted
on Saturday, December 27, 2003 at 8:32 PM.
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