The Falsity of Friendship Endelessly Extends the Brevity of Life
I just want to say this now for anyone who reads this blog and calls themselves my friend. Do me a giant favor and don't bullshit me to my face with some half-smile or half-assed gesture that you drop the second I turn my back. I would rather you just tell me to my face how you feel about me, or treat me like you really want to treat me instead of trying to pretend and put on a game-face in order to avoid confrontation. Helloooooooo.....that is one surefire way to get into one.
I don't get it....why do people waste energy being fake when they can just be and say what they want to be and say. Do people just avoid it because they are afraid I will tell them the truth if they want to play that game.
People love to play the "ooooo we have dirt on Fadi" game when the truth is, there IS no dirt. I stay out of shit, I listen, I don't start shit (despite what people love to think), I don't like being in the spotlight, I don't like being the center of attention, I don't like being touched, I don't like feeling like I have some entourage that I know nothing about, and I don't like when people falsely accuse me, "punish" me for it, and then don't apologize when they realize and find out that they were miserably WRONG.
At least I do have good friends who clue me in, have my best interest in mind and look out for me.
On another note, B&B auditions went well. From what I hear there were about 90 people there. Felt comfy with my song, although I felt I could have hammed up a bit more. Was really comfy with my dance although I messed up twice. I couldn't help it, I was so into it and having so much fun that I totally lost my mind and wanted to improvise.
I am an audition ho....I like auditioning - mostly because I know I am not that good at it, so all the practice I can get, I like. Gives me a chance to evaluate myself and get feedback.
That being said, I will put money down that I am going to be a dancing napkin ring 3rd from the left. I guess it depends on how I do at callbacks.
I think I am out of Lion in Winter because my life sucks and I now have to really be an adult and focus on making money or I am never going to get out of here. Director probably hates me now, of course, that is probably my paranoia and the fact that I really respect the person and have always wanted to work with her. I hated having to do it, but I gotta keep stashing or I am going to become the people that I don't want to become.
What else.....looking forward to Patel next semester. Really looking forward to UT dance pieces (please come everyone - Feb 16-18). Excited to teach next semester. Club Med is dead in the water for me from what everyone keeps telling me, but I hear it has markably improved for everyone still involved so that makes me happy. I am missing some of my students already...those little buggers really got to me this semester. And that means a lot to me.
Other than that, I shall echo some sage words spoken to me tonight: The best success is revenge.
It goes along with what I believe: Why waste the time being angry and trying to get back at someone? I never need to worry about retaliation because life and karma are bigger bitches than I could ever pretend to be.
I just want to say this now for anyone who reads this blog and calls themselves my friend. Do me a giant favor and don't bullshit me to my face with some half-smile or half-assed gesture that you drop the second I turn my back. I would rather you just tell me to my face how you feel about me, or treat me like you really want to treat me instead of trying to pretend and put on a game-face in order to avoid confrontation. Helloooooooo.....that is one surefire way to get into one.
I don't get it....why do people waste energy being fake when they can just be and say what they want to be and say. Do people just avoid it because they are afraid I will tell them the truth if they want to play that game.
People love to play the "ooooo we have dirt on Fadi" game when the truth is, there IS no dirt. I stay out of shit, I listen, I don't start shit (despite what people love to think), I don't like being in the spotlight, I don't like being the center of attention, I don't like being touched, I don't like feeling like I have some entourage that I know nothing about, and I don't like when people falsely accuse me, "punish" me for it, and then don't apologize when they realize and find out that they were miserably WRONG.
At least I do have good friends who clue me in, have my best interest in mind and look out for me.
On another note, B&B auditions went well. From what I hear there were about 90 people there. Felt comfy with my song, although I felt I could have hammed up a bit more. Was really comfy with my dance although I messed up twice. I couldn't help it, I was so into it and having so much fun that I totally lost my mind and wanted to improvise.
I am an audition ho....I like auditioning - mostly because I know I am not that good at it, so all the practice I can get, I like. Gives me a chance to evaluate myself and get feedback.
That being said, I will put money down that I am going to be a dancing napkin ring 3rd from the left. I guess it depends on how I do at callbacks.
I think I am out of Lion in Winter because my life sucks and I now have to really be an adult and focus on making money or I am never going to get out of here. Director probably hates me now, of course, that is probably my paranoia and the fact that I really respect the person and have always wanted to work with her. I hated having to do it, but I gotta keep stashing or I am going to become the people that I don't want to become.
What else.....looking forward to Patel next semester. Really looking forward to UT dance pieces (please come everyone - Feb 16-18). Excited to teach next semester. Club Med is dead in the water for me from what everyone keeps telling me, but I hear it has markably improved for everyone still involved so that makes me happy. I am missing some of my students already...those little buggers really got to me this semester. And that means a lot to me.
Other than that, I shall echo some sage words spoken to me tonight: The best success is revenge.
It goes along with what I believe: Why waste the time being angry and trying to get back at someone? I never need to worry about retaliation because life and karma are bigger bitches than I could ever pretend to be.
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on Thursday, December 15, 2005 at 12:56 AM.
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