This is going to be a random mind explosion of things because I don;t really have a specific thread of thought. Just lots of things happening that I wanted to blog about.
Had a meeting today with one of the creators of one of the musicals I am working on to talk about the show and ideas and stuff. Jorge and I were very surprised at the meeting because we had no idea what was going to transpire. The musical, despite its two year creation span, has problems and we were concerned as to the reception of our ideas. Talk about a huge weight lifted when we discovered that he was gung ho for it and even though he was disappointed at having to delay the opening of the show, we all agreed that it was better to take the time to work on this ot get it somewhere rather than just rush ahead and fall flat on our faces. So for the next two weeks I have script work to do and I am excited about being a part of this. Between Sarah and Uz I am digging working on original musicals. So much more freedome that already existing shows.
However, this would not be my life without a little complication. A fellow theatre friend of mine, Amy, often clues me in to local auditions for big things. She recently found an audition notice for the 2 national tours and Broadway replacement cast of Mamma Mia. Now, I LOVE the music of Abba. I was raised on it; it is in my blood. Although the show itself is not the brightest star, just getting ot sing that music is enough. The auditions are next week and I am not sure when everything would happen, but i have an important decision to make. Do I let go of these two projects in favor of doing my first "real" professional gig (assuming I get in) or I do I face my obligations? I have the opportunity to have a big door opened for me, and I may be prematurely worrying since I have not even auditioned for the show. Part of me can;t imagine doing that show for 6 months, 8 times a week because the male ensemble is only on stage 4 times (including the LONG curtain call), so I am not sure how much fun it would be (barring getting to know people, touring, and getting some serious dough). My passion is starting to consume me. Och! All I know is that I am itching to get going and get out and move on with my life. I need to start the next phase of my life, and away from the bullshit, the drama, and the headache.
Teaching is proving to be quite a chore. I just cannot get used to this waking up at 7 and teaching at 8. I do enjoy the students, most of the time. It;s always interesting working those students labeled as "remedial" because they end up being the smartest and the most groundest students who are victims of some bullshit system. Granted, there are those that just swim with laziness. It is also very hard teaching grammar because it is not exactly the most fun thing to teach, but they seem to be learning and most of them have expressed that they are learning something, so I must be doing something right. Despite it all, I cannot wait until I don;t have to teach anymore; the major reason being dumbass bosses who don;t know shit because they are more interested in furthering their career and getting recognized than what the students need. Semester after semester I watch those students in those classrooms that are "controlled" learn nothing, and I know this because when some of them get to me a following semester they expres that they have not learned shit. Yet again, the system becomes more concerned with itself and less with its product. This politicization and corporatization of the university is getting way out of hand.
I am in a state of reevaluatin some decisions and relationships. Call it life spring cleaning. I just keep thinking of the people in my life and those who are really a part of it and those who are merely marginalized (not by my choice) and only come out when they need something. Circling the globe with my circle of friends is no longer something that amuses me or makes me proud. I would rather have a small handful of strong frienships than a large circle of surface ones. I just seem to be picking apart everything people say nowadays and starting to think about whether I made the right decision with some of them. The hard part is determining how to cut those lines of communication with the least amount of conflict.
I wonder if all this lack of proper sleep is affecting my thought pattern. I am in such a state of flux about so many things.
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on Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 9:01 PM.
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